Crying

  After my grandma experienced two near-death encounters due to an illness that is too complicated to easily explain, she was finally going to get a knee replacement today. She's been living for months in a wheelchair with absolutely no knee. But when they opened her up during surgery today, they discovered that the area where the knee was to go was infected. With the infection she's been fighting for months.
  I've been thinking a lot about crying lately. Through my whole life, crying has never been hard for me. When my mom called me and told me the news, of course my tears started welling up. But I don't cry anymore. The tears come, but they don't fall. It just doesn't happen.
  After years of being a crybaby, I am so angry that my tears won't come. Am I not sad anymore? Or will my sadness just refuse to break through the barrier of love I now have surrounding my hurt?
  I don't know, and I realize that this is a sentimental piece of crap to everyone who has no clue who I am. I apologize.
  But in other news, I guess I'll talk about the DF. I've decided to tell him my secrets. I've already told him a few, and it feels better when he knows exactly what I'm trying to say, because he understands the back meaning to it.
  And...FPS sucks. That's Future Problem Solvers, and I say that we abolish it.